Femdenity: Female Identity away from set norms. Are you living the fun, fulfilling authentic life you've always wanted? If not, then I think it's time to (re)discover, love and embrace the real you.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
From Abused Wife to Adored Slave
It's often hard to believe how much I have grown in the past year and a half. April of last year I was hooked on prescription pain meds and the last memory of my husband was him pushing me up against the wall, choking me, and telling me that he will always control me. The weekend before that, he had slapped my daughter upside the head for eating a piece of bread at a restaurant. A month later, I was sneaking out of the house with my child and crossing three states to get away from that nightmare. A week later, I went cold turkey from the pain meds. It was the worst two pains imaginable. I vowed to never love again.
I met my Master initially as a friend...not even a good friend, just a casual acquaintance. I had started dating and felt so unfulfilled. No one understood me. When I mentioned my interest in BDSM, they freaked and told me I was weird.
It was on November 13th, 2009 when I saw Kurtz at the same club I met him months before. The club was holding a special event, a wedding to be exact. He had announced that he had just signed his divorce papers that very afternoon and expressed interest in me. I was floored, I had been attracted to him since I first met him. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I didn't bother getting to know him more, because I knew he was married, and didn't want to become attached to him for any reason.
Our bond was instantaneous. I become head over heels in love with him within hours of talking to him. We danced the night away and talked into the night until I fell asleep on his bed. He gently removed my shoes, covered me with a blanket, laid next to me and slept by my side. The following night he was my date for the Dallas Fetish Ball, and revealed that he was a Master and I revealed my desires to be a slave. We didn't put this into practice until New Years Eve, and it was sealed and official on our contract signing and collaring on February 25th.
After getting over my drug addiction, I had become addicted to sugar. I had a lot of demons to fight from my abuse, and several trust issues. Because of the guidance of my wonderful Master, I gave up sugar and meat entirely. His teachings and love have allowed me to work through my demons, and his consistency has allowed me to learn to trust again. My daughter acknowledges him as her father figure and has also learned that not all men are bad.
I often get flack about being dominated. "Why do you allow him to control you?" they ask. My answer is simple "My Master offers me unconditional love and guidance. He rubs my aching joints to keep me off of drugs, and bathes me in oils to keep my body beautiful. He holds me in his loving arms at night, protects me from harm, provides me and my child a home. His only request is that I obey, love, and respect him. How can I refuse such a request? I gladly serve my Master. I kiss his feet when he comes home, and do everything I can to please him. He saved me from my own demons, showed me how to fight and control them, tells me I'm beautiful, precious, and his prize." I may be owned, but I am loved and free at the same time. He is more to me than a boyfriend, lover, or even a husband...he is my Master.
As for my ex-husband? He's been convicted of abuse to his own children, hitting the pain pills harder than I ever did, and is on a path of self destruction. I'd pity him if I didn't hate him so.