What kind of business do you own and what is the name? How long have you been open?
The name of my business is Sole Groove Dance Fitness. We are an adult-centered, fitness-oriented dance studio in Flower Mound, TX. We just celebrated our first year of business!
So, tell me a little something about yourself. I know you are a wife and a Mom. Did you open your business before or after those big life changing moments? Also, how do you now balance everything?
I met the man who is now my husband on my first day of
college! I graduated from SFA with a BA
in Theatre and intended to teach until retirement. Funny how the plan for your life will happen
whether you’re on board at the beginning or not! We were married a year after graduating and
had our son two years later. While both
of those were big, life-changing decisions, they both came very naturally and I
knew there were events in my life that had prepared me for both of those
choices, so I had the tools I needed and a good dose of faith in both of those
decisions. The studio was a different
story. It was incredibly risky and
carried all the emotion of having a child without something tiny to cuddle with
when you doubted yourself! I am constantly
seeking balance between life, work, and art.
My husband has now started his own business and I wonder often how it
will affect our child. Will he develop a
strong work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit because he’s watched us or will he
feel neglected and that we chose our work over him? It’s an ongoing quest to keep a strong and
healthy marriage, a happy and well-adjusted child who knows he’s loved, a growing
business, and a professional performing schedule. Some days I seem to have it figured out and
some days I cry in the shower and question myself! That’s just growing up, I guess!
Your dance studio specializes in belly dance. How long have you been dancing? How did your passion lead to this business idea?
The studio doesn’t actually focus primarily on bellydance. It’s just a facet of the whole picture. Bellydance just happens to be my passion! I’ve danced in one format or another my entire life. After college, I reluctantly traded in my dance shoes for a yoga mat because there was just nowhere for adults to take a dance class (without having to be in a recital). When my son was about six months old, I decided that I would be a better mom if I felt better about my body and was doing something for myself every now and then. I found a yoga studio that offered a bellydance class and it was something that I’d always wanted to try. I walked in and the ladies were going on and on about my hips being so big. I was resigned to it by this point and told them I just had to accept it. They quickly corrected me by explaining that they stuffed things in their dance costumes to pad and accentuate the hips so theirs would look like mine did naturally! Unbelievable! I picked up the foundation of the dance relatively quickly and decided I never wanted to stop learning this incredible art. In no time, I was feeling comfortable with the shape of my body, making new friends, and celebrating femininity in a way I never had before! I always thought that being feminine meant being high-maintenance. Even though I’ve always been extremely “girlie” I made great efforts to be as low-maintenance as possible. Middle Eastern Dance taught me that feminine is strong and glamorous and that, when I’m being myself, I’m stronger than when I’m trying to please everyone. I started performing pretty quickly after I began classes (probably earlier than I should’ve) and my stage persona was kind of my alter ego. Now, the two identities have merged to become an artist who is laid back, but professional. Sweet and strong. Dance did all of this for me and I wanted to share dance with other grown women, so they could experience whatever transformation their lives were calling for.
What made you decide to take the big plunge and open your own business and how did you go about it?
The decision to leave the career I’d worked my whole life for to do something I knew nothing about was the biggest leap of faith I ever took! It started with my husband’s grandfather passing away and leaving us a very generous inheritance. We did some fun stuff, paid off all of our debt, gave to some choice charities that were close to our hearts, then left the rest sitting in the bank waiting for us to decide what should be done with it. I was going about my normal business teaching children and thinking that my specific calling in life was to work with kids. I worked in a low socio-economic school and some of the kids had really heart-breaking stories. One day, one of my favorite students (I know teachers aren’t supposed to have faves, but it happens sometimes) told me that his dad left in the middle of the night and fled the country to avoid being arrested. I was devastated for this child, but I guess for the first time, I thought about it from the mom’s point of view. Dad didn’t tell the kids goodbye. Mom had to wait for her children to wake up that morning to explain to them that they might never see their father again. Her income was instantly slashed in half and she had two children to raise on her own. Just like that. That’s when it occurred to me that these kids I was trying so hard to rescue were the children of some women who were dealing with a lot of life. Fast forward to the spring semester of that school year. Awful new principal (it really does make a difference), wild kids and a general toxic atmosphere at work made teaching a burden and took the joy out of my career. One of my friends sent an email to friends and family announcing that she was beginning her own private counseling practice. I kept thinking, “She’s my age. She’s just going for it.” I guess I thought you had to be a “grown up” to do something like that and this was the final push I needed to take the plunge. My husband loved the idea and was very supportive, so we got started around February and opened the doors in August of 2010.
What is something you know now that you wish someone would have told you when you first opened?
Remember I planned to teach public school for my entire
adult life. Thus, I never planned on
having a lot of money (sad but true)!
When I opened this business, I was so concerned with making everyone
happy and I was afraid of coming across as greedy. I wish someone had told me that it’s ok for
people to know that I was trying to make some money as a business. While money not the driving force behind my
decisions, there are definitely some things I would have handled differently
had I just relaxed and looked at the big picture! Now I’m comfortable with the fact that I have
to promote this place even in the face of possible rejection and that people
expect me to be trying to make a buck! I
still have no intention of becoming wealthy.
If I can maintain a business that is driven by the desire to connect to
people and bring people together, I’ll make enough to get by and maybe even
enough to give away to those who need it.
We do deal with body image issues a lot at Sole Groove. I’ve found that, while it does slow some people
down, once they get in the door, the intimidation goes away. They see that it’s a welcoming,
non-judgemental environment and most women are comfortable pretty immediately
after coming in! What a blessing to go
to a place with women who have the same insecurities and struggles and work
together to overcome them as a community!
Body image has been an issue for me my entire life (as it is for most
women in our society). I’ve even gone
so far as to have Proverbs 31:30 tattooed on my arm so I can be reminded of
what makes a woman beautiful. “Charm is
deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be
praised.” Dance does something to people. Think about it. You’re never as hot in your own mind as when
you are out on the dance floor! When
ladies are dancing in class, they start having fun and they forget to be
self-conscious, critical, and self-deprecating. They might even catch a glimpse of themselves
in the mirror and realize how sexy they look.
Confidence builds from this and it effects every aspect of their
lives. They become better wives,
mothers, sisters, and friends because they feel better about themselves
physically and emotionally. When people
are hesitant, I usually tell them to look at the instructor. I remind them that everyone else in the room
will be looking at the instructor (not them) and that if they just watch her,
they’ll be fine. It works and it’s so
amazing to watch women come in broken and alone and leave with friends, a new
support group, confidence, and inspiration.
People come for a workout and they leave with their souls fed.
The past year of owning my own business has been an
incredible journey of personal growth for me.
I’ve made connections with so many amazing women and forged friendships
with people in different situations.
I’ve learned about compassion, true strength, faith, and living outside
of fear. I didn’t wait until to follow
my passion and I wouldn’t change a thing!
